Today was another long one. Lily is getting her bottom two teeth and overall is not her happy go-lucky self. Ella was in "super ask question mode" today. I felt like I was on
Who Wants to be a Millionaire and I was using all my life lines. Forget the show
Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?, today I did not feel smarter than my 3 year old. I'm chalking it up to that time of the month (sorry if TMI) and Mommy brain, but my brain felt like mush today.
My hubby came home from work in a great mood, grabbed a beer and dove right into Daddy mode. I should have been excited for family time. All I wanted to do was drop on the couch and never move again. Instead, I made a yummy dinner in the dutch oven - a combo Emeril / Tyler Florence meal. Chicken thighs, zucchini, mushrooms, tomatoes, onions in a yummy broth with roasted potatoes. I think I'm actually getting good as this cooking thing. Im starting to enjoy it. While I cooked, the girls and my hubby, Don played so cutely. At one point Don had beer in hand wearing a princess hat and making funny sounds to make the girls laugh - still I was not snapping out of my funk. Maybe its the rain, the "stuck in the house most of the day" feeling - winter doldrums. Not sure, but it wasn't going away.
We finished dinner, we had to press Ella to eat tonight, she wasn't feeling dinner. Once she had made enough yuck faces, and had "tried" everything on her plate she asked to be excused and we happily let her get down, if just for a moment of peace.
While I did the dishes Don gave Lily her bottle and put her to bed - a routine I hate to give up. Even though I get to feed her almost every bottle and up until 4 weeks ago I was nursing and he had no participation whatsoever, I still hate missing even one feeding. I gave this one to him tonight, he had earned it. He was the "happy full of fun" parent tonight and I felt like I had a cloud hanging over me.
As soon as Lily was down, Ella was on us like white on rice. At least it felt like that to me. I told Don I needed to go buy envelopes; yes envelopes in the pouring - disgusting rain. He said he would put her to bed. I gave her a big squeeze and kiss and headed out the door. As I left I popped back in and said, I might stop at Barnes and Noble - he nodded, seeing I needed a break.
I got the envelopes and beelined for B&N. I got a Grande decaf latte and picked up the best house decor and cooking magazines I could find. I curled up on a comfy chair and completely relaxed. I felt the day dripping off me. I think this is going to become a weekly routine.
How do you take time for yourself? How often?
I love the line I felt the day dripping off me. It is so poetic and gives great imagery. I picture the toils and troubles of the day only sticking to your outside while you fight not to let it penetrate your soul.
ReplyDeleteBy finding some time for yourself, alone, curled up with a magazine, you've found the key to successful motherhood as far as I'm concerned. Remembering you.
I have three children 7, 5 and 2 1/2. I subscribe to same mantra as you. Make children a part of your life not your whole life. When the kids were toddlers my husband always planned these long drives to neighboring states in hotels to go hiking, etc. At first I would always resist. What is the baby doesn't sleep? what if I forget something I need for her/his bottle? What is the baby doesn't sleep?(oh yeah I said that already but that was my biggest fear). To my surprise they adapted. If they skipped their nap, they'd go to bed earlier. If they stayed up late, they'd sleep late in the morning. When I told my friends all the adventures I'd been on with my very, very young children they basically thought I was crazy!!!! But you know what, we sit at a nice Italian restaurant twice a month(as long as there is a good bit of noise to drown us out. I've flown to Florida with my youngest at three months toting the other two with me. The looks I got in the airport!!! Wow security was a challenge in fact it grew hair on my chest.
One person on the airplane offered to buy me a drink. That was hysterical. She said "You look like you could use one." I guess my point is that my children know how behave in an airport because I brought them there. They know how to behave on a plane because it never stopped me. Don't misunderstand: some trips were excruciating but others were just fine.
Don't let your motherhood define who you are. Let the way you lead your life be an example for your children.
Lia
Time for myself? whats that? My DH works ridiculous hours and on the weekend he just wants to relax and work on his hobbies.. However, I might have to steal your B&N idea though :)
ReplyDeleteLia - thank you for taking the time to really share! You ARE brave. Weekend trips with 3 kids. I have never flown by myself with my girls. I've only ever gone with Don. I firmly believe that you have to "desensitize" kids. Parents always say that they never take their kids out to places because they go crazy. The only way, your kid is going to learn how not to go crazy is be thrown into the environment. Personally I found your last line of your comment to be AMAZING - "Don't let your motherhood define who you are. Let the way you lead your life be an example for your children." So eloquently put. I hope you will follow along and comment more - you have a lot to offer!
ReplyDeleteJoleine - Im telling you you have to try it! It was the most peaceful relaxing night I have had in months. I also have friends who will go to the movies by themselves. I prefer to go with my girlfriends rather than by myself, but I would go alone as a last resort. Maybe DH could plan ahead a night to try to get home a bit earlier so he can take over bedtime and give you one night to take back for yourself. Even if its one night per month, start small. Thanks for reading and following!