Today I had to bite my tongue, hard. It took everything in my power, but I did it. A little girl on the playground was mean to my Ella. Saying not so nice things to her and being downright bratty. I noticed that the insults were rolling off of Ella's back, so I kept an ear and an eye on the little girl, but I stayed in the shadows.
I wanted to yell, "Hey you, knock it off!"
Then I reminded myself I was dealing with a 4 year old.
I saw a few moments when Ella would flinch a little and look off in the distance, contemplating her next move. I wanted so badly to run over scoop her up and leave, but I resisted. I have always been of the philosophy that I need to instill the right lessons so that when I am not there, she can handle herself. In kindergarten I won't be there to tell the kids to stop pushing on the playground. She is going to have to fend for herself. As scary as that is.
So on the way home from the playground, I waited a few minutes to see if she would bring it up. I wondered if it even affected her. Then she says it; "Katie said I am nuts and that Laura isn't my friend." I took a deep breath and went through my usual shpeal.
I told her that she was not nuts and that she can be friends with whomever she wants, she doesn't need anyone's permission. I told her to always be kind and sweet and the right kind of friends will come to her. I reminded her that if someone bothers her, she should just go play with something or someone else. I said this a few times, almost as if I was reminding myself.
I so badly want her to have the confidence to walk away from conflict and to find the right kind of people to surround herself with in life. In reality though, I know it is not always possible. Sometimes you have to be around people who aren't nice. You have to deal with bullies and mean girls. Hopefully though our talks and the way we live our life will help her see how to treat people. Most importantly though - how she should expect people to treat her.
I must admit, it would have felt good to yell at the brat on the playground today, it would have felt real good.
My Mommy Mantra: "Make your kids an incredible Part of your life, not your WHOLE life."
Domaine Brunet Pinot Noir
This delicious buttery Pinot Noir is a staple in our house. It never disappoints. It is a family favorite of my mother-in-law. She has terrific taste in wine. So give it a try. The price ranges from $11/$16. Not too shabby.