However, today I was jolted back to reality. I had Ella's Pre-K orientation. The program is full day. We have known since she was a baby that we wanted her to go to this school. It is so loving, nurturing and we know she is going to thrive...
...But at the orientation Ella was inconsolable. Crying, nervous and clingy. SO unlike her. I had a lump in my throat the whole time. If anyone had spoken to me in those moments I would have burst into tears. Luckily, no one dared.
We made it through the hour somehow. I squeezed her and told her how proud I was of her. I asked her what she wanted me to pack her for lunch for her first day. Salami and Cheese with Mayo was her answer. She was back. Happy, holding my hand and skipping as if the tortuous hour had not even occurred. Meanwhile, I felt shell shocked and anxiety ridden. I sought solace at a friend's house, who fed me and gave me headache meds. Thank god for girlfriends. The day got better and we tried to make everything about the next day special. Lunch is packed, projects completed and surprise first day of school gift was given.
|Shiny new locket for my Ella.|
|Picture of Mommy and Daddy for my big girl.|
I know there will be moments she will miss us and feel like she needs a hug. Hopefully those moments will be few and far between. If they do happen, she can squeeze her locket and think of us. YES...to answer your question, I am crying. When did this happen? Where did my baby go?