One and Done

My bottle removal philosophy. I keep chanting it to myself as my little Lily flower fusses and whines. I pulled the plug on the bottles with my 3 year old (Ella) the day after her first birthday and it worked like a charm. Lily is resisting a bit more and it is all my fault.

I broke the cardinal rule. I let Lily have her bottle in bed with her at nap time and early in the morning. Lily breastfed exclusively until she was 8 months old. She then self weened and switched full force into a sort of "baba" infatuation. She loved holding it and sipping it for extended periods of time. Her big brown eyes would roll back into her head in a state of euphoria when I would hand her the bottle. It became so easy to soothe her back to sleep early in the morning or get her to take a 3 hour nap. All I had to do was hand over the bottle drug.

As Lily's first birthday approached I was dreading taking away my crutch. My nap extender, my "Ace in the hole" in a time of stress. The bottle had become my "peace and quiet" facilitator. All the more reason to rip the band-aid off quickly and be done with it. One and done. The last bottle was on Lily's birthday. It was before bed. I told my husband I wanted to give her the last bottle. He looked at me with envy, this was a nightly ritual we both enjoyed. This time however he understood I needed this. I held her bottle for her and sang songs and let her slowly drink it for over an hour. Typically our nighttime bottle would be maybe 5 minutes, not tonight - it was her last supper so to speak. I teared up a bit as I quietly closed the door. A wave of sadness came over me. I then glanced at the pile of bottles I had to wash in the sink and the relief set in. Moving on.

It has been 6 days with no bottle. Six days of being greeted at 5am with a whiney little brown eyed beauty. I feel awful, but I know I need to hold strong. Nap times were tough in the beginning, but I am already seeing a difference. She is starting to soothe herself straight into a 2 hour nap, with little more than a whimper.

Lily is what most people would call a "content and happy baby." Withholding something she loves is so hard to do, because she rarely fusses. All the more reason to stay strong. The first day I felt like a mean old witch dangling bread above a starving child cackling. Terrible, so terrible. I just keep repeating, one and done, one and done, one and done. I like to think I am shaping a child who needs nothing except love as comfort and in turn having a little girl who can be content in any setting at any time without props or trickery. Fingers crossed.

Mommy Mantra - Make your kids an incredible Part of your life, not your WHOLE life."

Tonight we had baked chicken with fresh herbs from the garden, spaghetti in garlic, lemon and oil and asparagus, lots and lots of asparagus. My girls could OD on asparagus and still eat it the next day. It is my no fail veggie. We buy the massive Costco bag of asparagus and it only lasts a few days. Omelettes, pasta, on the grill. Delish.

I need more...

Coffee
Hours in my day
Time to myself
Time with my hubby
Coffee
Moments of silence
Coziness

I need less...
Rain

Moms Against Minivans

You will not find one here. If I could I would climb the highest mountain and scream, "I LOVE my Minivan." Maybe that is a little extreme, but I am a fan. I have been the proud owner of a Minivan for two years now. It has served as a portable house for my family's many trips, a place to change a screaming baby and sometimes a play-house for my energetic toddler. It has also kept us safe. We were side swiped by a crazy lady while we were on vacation last year, an accident that would have crushed my previous car - my Minivan prevailed and so did we. I love my Minivan and I say that with pride. This however, was not always the case.

I used to question the need. Why? Why? Why? They always looked so ridiculous. They are the antithesis of everything young and fresh. Once you got a Minivan you were well on your way to Mom jeans and a cropped short hair cut. Trading in everything beautiful and selfish for everything practical and selfless.

The plain fact is that once you resign yourself to wanting a large family, the Minivan becomes the obvious choice. While my husband and I only have two children now, it is our dream to have four. If he had his way, five. We decided if we are going to do this whole thing, lets go big or go home. We haven't looked back. I love everything about having the space.

I compare the transition to the Minivan, to my move from Manhattan to the suburbs. Do I miss my fast paced life in NYC? Yes, sometimes. What I don't miss is having to fold my clothes into tiny pocket sized squares so they could fit into my 1 foot wide closet. We moved out to the suburbs for space and stability and somehow as you get older those things become more and more important. In enters the Minivan; roomy, comfortable, easy to drive, easy to change a baby in, easy to keep a portable potty in the back, just easy. Those things have become more important to me than looking and feeling cool in my car.

Somehow though I still find enjoyment in driving my car. I turn up the radio loud, blast a little DMB, put my shades on and let my long hair blow out the window. No Mom jeans for this Mommy, no no no. At leasts that's what I'm saying today.

Mommy Mantra -Make your kids an incredible Part of your life, not your WHOLE life.

Tonight we made mini cheddar cheese sliders over a spinach and couscous salad. This was not a huge hit with the girls. Lily wiped her tongue after trying the couscous as if she was trying to wipe sand off of it. Ella poked the salad then drenched every bite with raspberry dressing to make it go down. I admit, this was a last minute attempt at a meal. Ah well, can't win them all.

Soft...Hard...Baby

Get your Mommy minds out of the gutter.

I'm referring to Ella, my 3 year old's toys. I have been trying to come up with an organizational system in her bedroom which allows her to clean up her toys after herself, wait for it....without the help of ME! Impossible, I know but I have been searching for a method. I think I found it.

Here is the breakdown;

Play Kitchen toys- self explanatory, kitchen items go in the kitchen.
Dress up- All dress up items go in her Dora the Explorer suitcase.

Then there are all those tiny little toys, stuffed animals and baby dolls - normally they end up in a heap in the middle of the floor.

We came up with 3 large baskets that we keep in her closet. Each are labeled.
Soft
Hard
Baby

Right now she is running around her room yelling "SOFT!" and throwing the stuffed animals in the Soft bucket. Earlier she went around grabbing ever baby doll, bib, outfit and threw them all in Baby bin.

Maybe once the excitement wears off, it will be back to me on the floor sorting through the sea of mess, but for now I am soothed by the sounds of Ella yelling "Soft, Hard, Baby!"

As you can tell, I had way too much time on my hands this week. I was sick, sicky sick sick. Couldn't go out to play, couldn't do much of anything. So I organized my house, my clothes, my online photos, I even tried organizing my friends. I'm glad I am feeling better, and can go back to being a bit of a mess. It suits me better.

Mommy Mantra - Make your kids an incredible Part of your life, not your WHOLE life.
Taco night!!! Blue corn tortilla shells, ground beef with homemade taco seasoning, shredded cheddar cheese, chopped tomatos, beans. Yum. Tonight was the first night Ella picked up the taco and ate it like we do. It was bigger than her little head and she was so happy.

Sicko

Moms are not allowed to get sick. Never. Ever. It just goes against all things Moms stand for. Always being there to pick your kid up when they wipe out, up in wee hours soothing a teething baby back to sleep, always there, never absent.

This weekend I was sicky sick sick - as my 3 year old likes to say. Chills, shakes, fever, sore throat and body aches all over. I fought it tooth and nail, trying to will the sickness away. Finally I succumbed. I had to hand over Lily's bedtime routine to my hubby. As my readers know this is a time, I hate to give up. I had to crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head and moan. Yes, I was moaning like a baby. Don took Ella down to the neighbors house after he put Lily to bed, so they could escape. I was jealous, I wanted to be drinking beers with good friends. No fair.

All night I tossed and turned, trying to sleep. Don woke up for the 5am feeding with Lily. Even though this should be a good thing for me, I felt guilty. I know how to soothe her, make her ease back into dreamland. In my head it is only me with such skills. Deep down though, I do know she loves her Daddy time and he is just as capable. Still, I hate to give up even the 5am routine. Guilt. Guilt. Guilt. That is all that I feel when I am sick. I can't just be sick, sleep all day and nurse myself back to health.

Come 7:45am I heard Lily shrieking out in the kitchen. A shriek I know as her teething cry. I jumped out of bed to tell Don to apply Orajel pronto. He already had it in his hand. At that point I was barely able to talk, my throat was pins and needles, but I was up. I took some meds and started to come back to life, 5 cups of tea later. As soon as I felt a tiny bit better, I started cleaning up my house which resembled a homeless man's tent. Clothes strewn about, endless half filled cups, something sticky on the floor - still not sure what that was. I cleaned like a mad woman while Don and Lily took a nap. Ella was cozy on the couch eating her breakfast and watching some Sunday cartoons. My sister-in-law was supposed to come over with her three kids. We had canceled but since I was feeling better, I decided I would rather battle through the sickness then miss a cute time with my niece and nephews. It was a great day, I was heavily medicated but was able to enjoy the much needed family time.

Flash forward 3 hours later. I feel worse than I felt before. A deep cough has settled into my chest and the aches are back. Pins and needles in my throat and a slight everpresent throb in my forehead.

I find it hard to allow myself to be sick. I am always rushing it away trying to fight through it, so I don't have to miss a single moment with the girls. Before kids, being sick was no big deal, sleep all day, drink lots of fluids, watch bad TV and get over it. Now, I am too busy to be sick. I'm going to try to tell that to this hacking cough and see how far it gets me.

Mommy Mantra - Make your kids an incredible Part of your life, not your WHOLE life.
Tonight Don stepped in and whipped up a stellar meal for the girls. Grilled cheese with Muenster, steamed asparagus and chopped up grilled chicken. The biggest hit was the asparagus. Lily was gnawing on it, soothing her aching gums and Ella was gobbling the little trees down. No "something special" tonight. Ella had two lollipops earlier in the day, more than enough sugar for one tiny little body to handle. However, I did not eat dinner and instead am indulging in a little Cookie Dough ice cream. What? It helps with my sore throat.

Terms of Endearment

This past weekend, I had to go away with just my little Lily flower. Ella stayed with Don for the weekend. When we came back, distance had definitely made the heart grow fonder, especially for Ella. She was so mushy and lovey and sweet. She missed her baby sister most of all. She started calling Lily some of the sweetest names imaginable. Here are a few of my favorites;

Little chubby cheeks
Sweetie lovie girl
scrunchy squirrel
little smushy marshmallow

I missed my little Ella so much, but she had the best weekend ever with her Daddy. I got to soak up some one-on-one Lily time, which is so rare to come by. I definitely recommend doing this with your littles ones. Trips away with one child, so you and your spouse can enjoy the kids individually. As nice as it was to have Lily to myself, it just feels so right to have my whole cozy crew back together.

Mommy Mantra - Make your kids an incredible Part of your life, not your WHOLE life.

Tonight we had a version of Jamie Oliver's "Dark Sticky Stew" with red bliss mashed potatoes. This is a Murphy family staple, so simple and so delish. We ran out of salad fixings, so I improvised tonight. I was inspired by my sister-in-law's strawberry salad. I took mixed mesclun greens, thinly cut strawberries, coconut, chopped almonds and aged balsamic dressing; the girls ate it up. I think it will definitely become a staple on the Murphy family menu.

Hurry up, Grow up

This weekend was especially busy for me. Traveling to see family, needing to be in ten places at once, I found it hard to catch my breath. I noticed myself leaning on my 3 year old, Ella to do the things that I would normally do for her. She has always been independent and has wanted to flex her wings at every corner. This time, I was letting her. She just learned to potty train in November, but now I was letting her get on the potty, wipe and wash her hands all by herself. I had to ask myself, was I doing this because it was what is best for her, or me? It certainly freed up a good chunk of my day not having to rush back and forth to the bathroom. I started to look at other areas that this was happening. Putting her shoes on, getting herself a snack, feeding her sister yogurt or asking her to check on her baby sister. Am I making her grow up too fast? Is this what you have to do to your oldest child when other littles ones come along?

I am the oldest sibling in my family. Five years older than my brother and eleven years older than my sister. When my brother was born, he was like my little doll. I wanted to play with him all the time. When my sister was born, I felt like she was mine. My real baby. I was accustomed to babysitting and caring for my siblings at a young age. I feel like this is where my care-taker side comes from. I know that it helped shape me into the Mommy I am today, but it was also at times a lot of pressure.

I've decided to try to be more cognizant of my expectations of Ella. I also want to make sure that my daughter stays as young as possible, for as long as possible.

Mommy Mantra - Make your kids an incredible Part of your life, not your WHOLE life.

Last night for dinner we had homemade tomato sauce with slow cooked pork and rope pasta. A nice salad and french bread. The girls ate all their dinner and Don took them to give them a bath. Ella started asking for "something special" almost immediately after dinner was over. I didn't have anything in the house that I could remotely consider a treat. I decided to cut into some fresh pineapple and get creative. She closed her eyes and when she opened them, she had heart shaped pineapple pieces with all natural pink sprinkles in front of her. She gasped, beamed from ear to ear and skipped away with her treat. She yelled, "Thank you Mommy." Get creative tonight, it doesn't always have to be cookies ice cream. Any creative dessert ideas out there?