It Takes a Village

Elle had school today and like any typical Monday, while Elle is at school, I make my rounds of phone calls to my girlfriends. Checking in on my friends who have become my Long Island family is a Monday ritual. Not being from the area, it has been a blessing to have found true and amazing friends that I can count on. Whether it is a mundane Monday or a hectic Thursday, building this network has made my life as a mom a million times easier. These are safe, comforting, amazing women who at the drop of a hat I would leave my babies with and feel utterly relaxed. Thankfully they have made living away from my family somewhat bearable.

Three years ago when Ella was only 4 months old I attended a Gymboree Music and Play class. There, I met some women who were all going through the same things I was. We all had our first babies, 4 months old, sleepless nights, some juggling work, some juggling being a SAHM for the first time, all equally as devoted to their new babies as I was. I felt like I could breathe, I wasn't all alone on this Island! It started off small. Going over to the local coffee house, sharing stories of "cluster feeding", gassiness and the dreaded teething. A group of women experiencing the exact same things at the exact same time, it felt serendipitous.

It grew from coffee houses to our houses. Rotating every Friday hosting play-dates at homes and parks. Now, 3 years later and still going strong. We have evolved, adding children and adding friends, but never have we lost sight of this special bond. Our children have become cousins and it feels like we have become sisters. All of our connections are unique and often dependent on schedules. But it is so rare to find a group of people you can trust with your children. Never questioning their love and loyalty to your family.

My number one recommendation to new Moms, is to put yourself out there. Try to get out and meet Moms with babies the same age as yours. You will find that the things you have in common, can make those sleepless nights much easier to bear. You may even find that in those moments of bonding over war wounds, a different kind of friendship can form, one based solely on family, a new kind of family.

Mommy Mantra: Make your kids an incredible Part of your life, not your WHOLE life.

Tonight I made fried eggplant with angel-hair pasta and semi home-made tomato sauce. Half roasted tomatoes and garlic half store bought sauce - makes for a homemade feel in half the time. This is a favorite of the girls.

If you are happy and you know it, read my blog!

What a cool day today was. "Wine, Cheese, Baby blog" got a little nod from American Baby Magazine. I knew the blurb was coming, I had been contacted by a writer for the magazine a few months ago. She was looking for some background info and a picture. She told me she would like to take some quotes from my Blog for the magazine. I was shocked that anyone other than my facebook buddies and my Mom were reading!

I wasn't sure what she was going to quote and I must admit I got a little nervous. Would she quote me making fun of Mom jeans? Or talking about how much I love my mini van? Or possibly me telling people they don't HAVE to go to Disney World? I was relieved; that what she decided to take was something from the "heart" of the reason I started blogging. She wrote "Celina says: Take a vow to keep doing what you love, No, that doesn't mean you can lounge on the beach whenever, but kids are often welcome at concerts and nice restaurants". I think when it boils down to it, if I am happy, my kids will be happy. They will learn to savor life and find enjoyment in everything that comes their way.

Tonight, appropriately enough we went to a Wine and Cheese bar to celebrate. The girls got mini cheese plates with grapes and organic milk, Don had an imported beer and I got Fisticuffs Cabernet and some seriously delicious truffle cheese. We followed up with frozen yogurt and a walk along the harbor. Not too shabby for a Tuesday night.

Mommy Mantra- Make your kids an incredible Part of your life, not your WHOLE life.

A stay at home Mom's how-to guide to making your kids part of your life, not you WHOLE life.

Comments from friends and family that inspired me to write this blog; 

"Your kids are so good"

"so well adjusted"

"how do you get them to sit through a whole meal?"

"When you put them to bed, they stay?"

"Lily ate artichokes, chicken and sundried tomatoes for dinner, wtf all my kid ate was frozen french fries straight from the freezer!"

"we are going to Disney and you are taking the kids to a bed and breakfast?"

"Just got back from Applebees again and you are coming back from a steakhouse with BOTH girls...(frustrated grunts)"

Can you hear me patting myself on the back??? I know this will come back to bite me when my girls are teenagers, but for right now, I bask in the glow of these kind words. 

I realized quickly that friends, family, strangers and pretty much anyone who has children seem to constantly bend to their every whim. This is what a good parent should do, right? Become selfless, start only going out to diners and family friendly chain restaurants, stop going on beach vacations and instead head straight to Disney. Im sure we will be heading to Disney in the near future - Im not knocking Disney, its a magical place and I cant wait to see it through Ella's eyes.  However we could easily take a luxury cruise and live like royalty for what we end up spending at 3 days in Disney. I digress.

A little intro to who I am. I have two young girls - Ella is 3 and Lily is 9 months. Im 27 years old and have been married for 5 years. Becoming a young mom 3 years ago I couldnt haven been more excited. When my friends who were still in the single, partying phase would say - "wow I can't even imagine becoming a parent right now." I would defensively adapt this tag line that morphed into a philosophy and ultimately a parenting style. This style seems to be a unique point of view, so I've observed.

Make your kids an incredible PART of your life not your WHOLE life.  - There it is, my mantra that guides me in being the best mom and family that we can be. 

Sounds much easier said than done. Basically I vowed not to stop doing the things my husband I love to do, but instead to incorporate our kids into our existing life. We are not going bar hopping until 5am, lounging on beaches whenever we feel like it and we certainly arent having 3 hour long dinners at the high end restaurants. Good food - thats where our money always goes. However, we are taking our kids to Vineyards, concerts, long hikes, Cafes and of course Restaurants known for one thing, good food - not the toy that comes at the end.

It may sound like I tote my child to do all the things I want to do and dont embrace the greatest part of parenthood - watching your children soak up something they truly love. I have done every Mommy and Me / Gymboree / My Gym / Music Together / Story Time etc. I constantly take my girls to The Library, Zoos and Nature Preserves. I try to keep things on a sliding scale - we may spend one day out at a vineyard playing and exploring, listening to good music and spending time with friends. The next day might be spent going to two birthday parties where face painting and music makes your head spin for hours, but thats parenthood. Its trying to find the balance between who you were and becoming the best FAMILY you can be. 

Stay tuned to hear my tips, advice, listen to my stories of failed mantra moments and come on this ever evolving journey of parenthood as I experience it first hand.