It Takes a Village

Elle had school today and like any typical Monday, while Elle is at school, I make my rounds of phone calls to my girlfriends. Checking in on my friends who have become my Long Island family is a Monday ritual. Not being from the area, it has been a blessing to have found true and amazing friends that I can count on. Whether it is a mundane Monday or a hectic Thursday, building this network has made my life as a mom a million times easier. These are safe, comforting, amazing women who at the drop of a hat I would leave my babies with and feel utterly relaxed. Thankfully they have made living away from my family somewhat bearable.

Three years ago when Ella was only 4 months old I attended a Gymboree Music and Play class. There, I met some women who were all going through the same things I was. We all had our first babies, 4 months old, sleepless nights, some juggling work, some juggling being a SAHM for the first time, all equally as devoted to their new babies as I was. I felt like I could breathe, I wasn't all alone on this Island! It started off small. Going over to the local coffee house, sharing stories of "cluster feeding", gassiness and the dreaded teething. A group of women experiencing the exact same things at the exact same time, it felt serendipitous.

It grew from coffee houses to our houses. Rotating every Friday hosting play-dates at homes and parks. Now, 3 years later and still going strong. We have evolved, adding children and adding friends, but never have we lost sight of this special bond. Our children have become cousins and it feels like we have become sisters. All of our connections are unique and often dependent on schedules. But it is so rare to find a group of people you can trust with your children. Never questioning their love and loyalty to your family.

My number one recommendation to new Moms, is to put yourself out there. Try to get out and meet Moms with babies the same age as yours. You will find that the things you have in common, can make those sleepless nights much easier to bear. You may even find that in those moments of bonding over war wounds, a different kind of friendship can form, one based solely on family, a new kind of family.

Mommy Mantra: Make your kids an incredible Part of your life, not your WHOLE life.

Tonight I made fried eggplant with angel-hair pasta and semi home-made tomato sauce. Half roasted tomatoes and garlic half store bought sauce - makes for a homemade feel in half the time. This is a favorite of the girls.

Freeze dance and WINO WEDNESDAY!

Fa fa fa fa fa fa freeze dance! Anyone with toddlers/pre-schoolers knows this jingle all too well. "The Fresh Beat Band" on Nick Jr. has this annoyingly addicting song. The episode seems to be on ALL the time. It is also a great game to play with the kiddos when they start to get too rambuncious at a playdate. They stop and focus and for a minute you can captivate a crowd of 3 year olds simply by saying "FREEZE!". Genius.

Today I wanted to stop the music and freeze a moment in time. I have a lot of those lately, but during this particular one I could feel myself trying to will time to stand still. With all my might I couldn't and the moment passed. I said in my head, "remember this." I'm putting it in my blog so just that can happen. So I can remember.

My girls are growing so fast and playing more and more together everyday. Becoming the best friends I dreamed them to be. Today I was folding laundry in their bedroom. The girls were in the hallway looking at books and being silly. Then I hear Ella say, "Lily, do you want to go to school with me someday?"

I could see them, but they had their back to me, so I could freely enjoy the cuteness without disturbing their chit chat. I held my breath half waiting for Lily (16 months) to respond.

Lily looked up at Ella, then Ella proceeded with "You could sit with me and my friends on the bus, Lily." "Would you like that Lily?" Lily just smiled, looked up at Ella and said "TUTU!" As she held up her favorite book, "I Wear My Tutu Everywhere." Ella took the book, opened it and sat down flipping through the pictures with Lily watching.

It is moments like that, that I would give any amount of money to have a video camera permanently glued to my hand. I am so afraid I will forget. I want to be old and grey and have clear memories of this time in my life. So I blog and I write it down in their journals too. Mostly though, I would love to rewind and watch it all again. It is so easy to get caught up in the mundane everyday and not appreciate the here and now.

Mommy Mantra - Make your kids an incredible Part of your life, not your WHOLE life.

Wino Wednesdays!

This Week's Wine
Cupcake Vineyards - Red Velvet $10 plus 15% off coupon!

Hmmmmm. Not sure about this one. My local vino hook-up (Grape Culture) had a %15 off coupon so I thought I would give it a go. Night #1, I had a glass without food and I was not happy. Not at all. Too sweet and blah, no oomph. Night #2 I drank a glass with a nice steak dinner. It was a whole new experience. Delicious and balanced and the perfect partner for my meal. So for me, this is not a stand out, and certainly not a wine to drink without gnashing on something carnivorous.

http://www.cupcakevineyard.com/wines/reds/red-velvet/

A Sleepover Forever

While we were away on vacation Ella and Lily shared a room the whole time. When we came home Ella asked me the most adorable question ever. "Mom, when can I have a sleepover with my sister forever?" Anytime she refers to Lily as "my sister" I melt. So that comment, coupled with Ella's adorable desire to spend every moment with her sister, made me want to smother her with kisses. This question started my quest at putting my two girls in the same bedroom together.

Before the change both my girls loved their rooms. I have prided myself in making their bedrooms the coziest little nests possible. I have filled them with the softest blankets, the happiest colors and all their favorite things. To me this is what a little girl's room should be; filled with joy and happiness and comfort. I was worried that with the change I would mess up their amazing sleep schedules and content nights. Still though, Ella's question tugged at my heart strings, I had to give it a shot.

This weekend Don took apart cribs, moved couches, lugged dressers - all without a single complaint. The whole time Ella was hopping up and down looking to help. With this change we were gaining Lily's old room back as a playroom. This made the move all the more appealing to Ella - Her very own playroom! I saw the happiness oozing out of her little smile.

Has it been seemless? No. Nap time is tough, but we are working out the kinks.

Being 11 years older than my sister, I never had the chance to do many sisterly things. We never shared a room, rode the school bus together, or shared clothes. I wish all those things for my little girls. We always read books about sisters and I try to drive home the lesson that they are best friends first before all others. I want them to always be close. I'm hoping that sharing a room will start them off in the right direction. I am a realist though; I know this love of each other and sharing a room will change with age, and we can switch it up then. For now though, tucking them into bed, reading them a book together and listening outside the door as Ella whispers "goodnight" to Lily is the most amazing way to end my day.

Mommy Mantra - Make your kids an incredible Part of your life, not your WHOLE life.
My brother is in town, so he picked up pizzas and we packed up and had dinner on the beach. The sunset was incredible, Ella and Don went swimming, Lily practiced her walking and I got to relax and enjoy one of the best perks of living on Long Island - the beach. Pizza, Cold Beer, Beach, Sunset, Family, Perfect. I want more nights like tonight.